South America: 1 year

Well...I woke up groggily this morning, looked at my watch, saw it was July 2nd and realized that I've been here for exactly 1 year. I haven't updated in over a month and I'll fill in the blanks later but I'd like to celebrate this momentous occasion with a look back at some of the things that have made this trip so special to me:

1) Empanadas in Chile.The only good food that exists in this country. Ingredients: Salt, Cheese, Salt, Bread, Salt.

2) Valparaiso.The Tranny parties in this rough and tumble seaport town are the best that I've found anywhere in the world. I haven't been to many, but I'm sure this claim will remain unchallenged.

3) Teaching at Divina Maestra. Well, at the end of the day, my kids still couldn't say "Hello. How are you?" in English and I spent most of my time in the corner doing Spanish flashcards while the students cut out shapes into paper, then crumpled them up and threw them at eachother. However, I think that it was worthwhile...if for no other reason than living with Manuel, Giannina and Giovanna in their wonderful home and having a maid to do my laundry, clean my room and cook for me

4) Machu Picchu. Contains the first archaeologically documented Royal Bathroom that I've seen.

5) Working on the farm in Northwestern Argentina. I definitely learned why people usually get college degrees and don't go into farm work. Not to say that Martin and Elizabeth weren't educated....just crazy. It's a tough existence. This was probably the healthiest and most physically demanding 3 weeks of my life and I look fondly on it. It also made me realize that without water in ready supply, life can really suck. Also, Elizabeth, if you're reading, I'm sorry if you thought I was a complete idiot. I tried my best.

6) Buenos Aires. I had a good time with alot of good people while simultaneously losing 10 pounds in water weight from the disgusting, hell's mouth type heat. I never learned Tango but I feel confident that I could dance it if presented with the opportunity in a Tango hall....after flying there on my unicorn with a Leprechaun riding shotgun.

7) Bolivia. Spanish lessons, living with a lovely Bolivian family, crazy Oruro Carneval, Lake Titicaca, La Paz and Ruta 36, Death Road, the Puma Reserve and the Germans. Living in Bolivia was so cheap that I felt bad...like I was living for free. I also think I had a stomach Amoeba most of the time from the street Silpancho but this is of no consequence. I'd do it all over again.

8) Working the bar in Loki. Lima is one of the most boring cities in Peru but I still had a great time working here with the other gringos and occasional non gringo. It showed me that I am actually likeable and can fake my way thru being a bartender. It also taught me a few other things about personal safety that I'll get into once I'm back.

9) Beaching along the coast thru Peru and Ecuador. All I can say is that I've got my beach body back. I sent the best pictures of myself to National Geographic, realized it was the wrong magazine and then promptly resent them to Teen Beat magazine. Still waiting for a reply.

10) The Colombian Coast. Tayrona National Park has the most amazing picturesque beaches that I've ever been to and the coast here in general is just amazing. Nevermind the fact that I've been involved in bribing Colombian Police two times in a week so that I didn't go to jail. I know that corruption and bribery are important ingredients in any healthy bureaucracy....I've lived in Chicago most of my life.

Here's to another 1-6 months of madness!