Buenos Aires....or how I lost 3 years of my life in two weeks

After a week on the farm, I jumped on a bus to Buenos Aires because word got out that a bunch of people were going to be there that I knew and I figured I'd take a mini holiday and then get back to the farm. Pat, Zach, his friend Sara and Pat's friend Stephanie (who lives in B.A) were my company for Christmas dinner. We had some pretty amazubg Puerto Rican empanadas made by Stephanie and watched a bunch of shirtless dudes blow off firecrackers in the streets. They don't really do christmas trees and carols here, just explosives....as expected. Buenos Aires is enormous, busy and dirty. Pretty much what I've been told. The public transportation (Subte) is fantastic and totally reminds me of the Chicago El because of people selling things, the rickity pre world war II construction of the rail cars and the overwhelming stench of urine. One whiff and I knew that I felt right at home in this city.

There is alot to see in Buenos Aires. We went to the Museo de Bellas Artes and its just awesome. It's got an amazing collection of really great contemporary painters. Actually, I pretty much think that they had every base covered. Picasso, Manet, Monet, Pollock, Van Gogh, Okeefe, Diego Rivera, a Kahlo. If you're an art fag like me than you'll totally dig it. The strictly Argentinian art was pretty cool too. I saw some pretty disturbing images there.

Check out the pictures and you'll see the Cemetario Recoleta which is an amazing place. It's essentially just a Necropolis spanning almost 10 city blocks that houses the dead of the city's elite. Sounds creepy and I suppose it is but I could spend alot of time there, it was peaceful. It's filled with stray cats and it's hard not to think about that story about the ancient Egyptians thinking of cats as vessels for their dead ancestors. It makes sense. Anyway, I'm a pretty deep guy.

We went to a jazz show with a friend Alex who happened to be in town from Chicago, (this was like the vacation of coincidence, everyone in my group seemed to know someone from somewhere who happened to be in Buenos Aires at the exact same time.) Bomba del Tiempo which is this awesome drum circle thing and so many other things its hard to recount it all. New Years was actually....not very crazy as everyone led us to believe. We went to some club with overpriced drinks and just danced the entire night. Fun but nothing like the orgy and drug filled madness that I was promised. Oh well, there's always Colombia. Essentially, Buenos Aires IS the most happening city in South America and a place I'd seriously consider living in...if it wasn't so bad for my health. Staying up until 9 in the morning every day has its costs though and eventually I had to get the hell out of dodge to return to JuJuy for fear of my liver and brain's safety. Two weeks left on the farm....is it possible?

I also have a confession, I ate at Burger King at least 3-5 times while in Buenos Aires. I completely blame Zach Sturley for this.

WWOOFing...the true story

Got into JuJuy on the 16th and stayed for a night. Was picked up the next day I arrived to the farm to be greeted by Martin, his wife Elizabeth and their son Matias. Very nice people. However, the mood here is sober to say the least. This is due mainly to the fact that there's been a drought which is severely affecting life. Northwestern Argentina usually gets tons of rain this time of year but this has not been the case as of late. I guess there used to be running water. Now there isn't and you have no idea what a difference running water makes in your life until you don't have it. No showers, no hand washing, no washing your clothes and no going to the bathroom unless you use a bucket. This means the following things have happened as a consequence:

1) I tried to bathe once in the river. Keep in mind that Aldea Luna is on the side of a mountain. The river is on the bottom. To bathe you have to hike down an almost 50 degree angle for ten minutes with a bucket, soap and a sponge. Once you get to the river, you need to try and find a spot that isn't less than 5 inches of water. The problem is, because of the drought, this doesn't exist. I tried wading in 4 inches of silty river splashing water on myself for ten minutes until I gave up and came back up. By the time I made it back up the slope, I was sweating. Conclusions: Showers will be once a week

2) You get water by going to a giant red barrel, putting a tube into it, sucking on the other end and siphoning water out of it (very much like how one might steal gasoline out of someone's car...from what I've....read) and filling another bucket. This is your water for the toilet and washing your hands. Flushing down more, er, fibrous waste means that you have to pour about 2 buckets of water into the toilet. Since this is almost half of your water bucket that you just lugged from the red water barrel, it means that it's much more efficient to just go outside instead of wasting water. However, going number 2 on an angle covered with mud is not as easy as it sounds. Twice I've slipped down the hill, and twice I've cursed the day I was born. Lesson: Find a flat spot to crap in so that you don't slip into your own excrement after it. Also, bring a shovel and remember to bury your business, otherwise one of the dogs will eat it...immediately. True Story.

3) You have to wash your clothes in the river over a stone. Conclusion: I will burn my clothes instead of washing them and simply buy new ones.

Regardless, life is relaxed here and all of this is exactly what I was expecting. The work is 7 hours a day, tough and demanding and you fall asleep like a baby at night and then wake up to do it all over again. We planted corn right before I left and also have carrots, peas, peppers, tomatoes, pumpkins and other things. Life here is like being a 15th century English Serf. I've been using iron age tools since machines are out of the question and they don't really have the money to buy new stuff. Meals are purely vegetarian which takes some getting used to and you have alot of time to think and play guitar which is exactly what I wanted. Christmas is coming up and I'm going to Buenos Aires to meet up with friends for a break than going back. I'm eating a hamburger when I get to a major city.

Que Significa "Paro"?

A "paro" is a stoppage of some type usually referring to a stoppage of work or as English speakers might know it, a strike. Who cares right? I do, because when I tried to get back into Chile today, this is exactly what I found. The Chilean border patrol was on strike because of some questions with salary and its way of getting to the throat of the Chilean government was by letting three people across the border EVERY HALF hour. So much for National solidarity after this whole miner nonsense.

Anyway, I was #72 in line. I'm no Math teacher but 3 every half hour, is 6 an hour which means I spent 12 hours in line. Excruciating, and probably the first real South American experience I've had. At one point, people stormed over the border into Chile when no was looking....and they were promptly returned to the Chilean border and tortured Pinochet style. Alright, that last part was completely made up but I can only guess this is what happened based on what I've heard about the Carabineros. After getting into Arica, Chile and almost being robbed by two flaite kids and eating a disgusting Churrasco (ah, Chilean food, why did we ever leave eachother?), I got on a 24 hour bus to JuJuy Argentina. Met some nice Israelis from Tel Aviv and a big creepy Peruvian named Enrique. Enrique really wanted to know alot about me because he kept tapping me on the shoulder to ask what my tattoos meant while I was listening to music. I mean I'm not knocking Peruvian hospitality but after he asked me for my email and phone number after knowing eachother for 20 minutes, I'm not entirely sure he doesn't have plans to kill and eat me. Note to self: Do not visit Lima, Peru.

After checking into the hostel in JuJuy, I realized why it had only 4 reviews on hostelworld. The front door had a bullet hole, my room was a basically a large closet with a pile of mattresses and the one shower was right next to the kitchen which is bizarre. I think I saw someone cleaning tomatoes with the runoff from my shower. The night in the hostel was pretty restless. Apart from being bitten by fleas, the huge french guy in my room had night terrors and was screaming in French. It sounds funny....but at the time it was actually terrifying. Tomorrow I go to the farm.

The Lost City of the Incas, Guinea Pig...and cross dressing

 Machu Pichu. Right. We did it. Everything you would have expected. Postcard perfect views, Mysterious, fog laden, tons of tourists. We hired a guide at the gate to take us around which was a pretty decent idea considering that Machu is enormous and confusing. We took a tour around the grounds and then climbed to the top of Waina Pichu which is the mount overlooking the city. One of the hardest and most dangerous things I've done on this trip, besides riding Chilean micros. There is literally a path cut into the side of this mountain with not much in the way of railings. One wrong step and you're dead, like smashed into a bloody-mist-on-the-bottom-of-a-mountain-dead . Going back down it in the middle of a rainstorm was probably a bad idea but since we weren't into waiting out said rainstorm on the top of Waina Pichu, it was a must. You had to make your way past tourist after tourist who were going up in the same direction you had just come on the same path made for one person.

We got back to Aguas Calientes which is a tourist town at the base made solely for tourists going to Machu Pichu and slept for about 3 hours then left at 5ish to go back to Cusco. I really like Cusco, I really like Peru in general actually. It's cheap and there are alot of great things to see. Cusco is a colonial city but has managed to retain its Quechuan heritage enough so that's it's a really beautiful amalgamation of New World and Old World. Logan, Mike, Yaima, Lucy and I stayed at a pretty great hostel that was hosting a cross dressing party when we got back that night. Now...I had every intention of going and drinking dressed like a man....until the girls hosting it convinced Mike and I to dress like women since "everyone else was doing it." Both of us are about 6'5" and were pretty hopeful that there would be no womens' clothing at this hostel to fit us.  That didn't pan out. Within minutes I was somehow wearing a yellow summer dress that I was busting out of like a pig in a corset and madeup in mascara and lipstick. We walked into the party and other people were indeed dressed as the opposite sex, the only problem is that it was only men. I think one girl had a drawn on moustache but that was it. Perfect. I'm probably the ugliest tranny that ever walked the planet but that didn't keep me from winning the catwalk contest. There were 5 of us and I think my sheer size kept me as a front runner. When we had a walk off (the applause meter was a stalemate and we had a tie) I killed it due to Single Ladies coming on. My reward was a disgustingly electric blue drink fed to me thru a beer bong tube. People my age shouldn't be doing things like this anymore. It's just plain humiliating

Before leaving Peru, Guinea Pig was a must and we ate some overlooking the Plaza in Cusco. Guinea Pig (Cuy) pretty much tastes exactly how a sweaty Russian guy would smell after working in an ore mine for an entire week and not showering. Just take a minute to imagine that. I had to hurry out of the restaurant to catch my bus to Argentina straight after that and threw up a little in my mouth. It's not good, but I guess you work with what you have if the only other domestic animal you have is Llama and Alpaca. Hopefully the beef in Argentina is good.

Alot of ground to cover

Program ended last week. It's weird to think that I now, offically, have absolutely no business being in South America. I said goodbye, probably for the last time, to alot of cool cats from EOD. Los extraño mucho. Then I went to Cajon de Maipo (east of Santiago and partially in the Andes) with Mom, Cheri, Chelsea ans well as my mom's friend and her daughter.  Maipo is pretty amazing. We stayed in this swanky house that was built right on the Maipo river and it was beautiful. Went to a stud farm, winery, white water rafting, horseback riding. It was all pretty killer. I learned that, apparently, a stud farm isn't a place to pick up men. They raise horses. I wasn't paying attention to our guide though because the horses were trying to bite me.

Got dropped off in Santiago when the week was over and met up with my friend Zach to make the trip to San Pedro de Atacama. San Pedro is essentially a desert oasis town that is, literally, in the middle of the Atacama desert in Northern Chile. It was first inhabited by a group of Chilean hippies with dreadlocks but because of its proximity to alot of gnarly geological features, has become a pretty popular spot for Backpackers from all countries with dreadlocks. There are salt flats there (pictured) that are the main habitat for 3 species of flamingos endemic to the Atacama desert. It's pretty amazing seeing literally flocks of flamingos in the middle of nowhere. I asked our guide if Chilean flamingos are endangered and, if not, are they delicious? He just stared at me.

We also went to some cool salt gorges and then swam in some of the saltiest water on earth. Due to the salinity, you jump in to this swimming hole and float like a buoy...it's bizarre. It's impossible to drown which was great to hear. I kept trying to bet a Swiss guy I met to drink the water, he finally asked me "Why don't you do it?" I just stared at him.

Zach and I separated from the group two days ago and made the trip to Arequipa, Peru.
The trip here was....treacherous. Here are the bulletpoints:

1) Being crushed by an entire Peruvian family that was using one seat for all of them and had it moved all the way back...into my knees.

2) Watching Cop Out, Punisher and Ghost Rider back to back on the 8 hour bus ride with Spanish dubs. It was the best time of my life. If you haven't seen Cop Out yet, SEE IT. It stars Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan as bungling cops in New York. I smell an Oscar here folks. I'm willing to put 20 Peruvian soles on that.

3) Driving thru the mountains to Arequipa on this thin, winding desert road, looking down at the canyon 100 meters below us and then coming around the curve to see a gasoline tanker crushed and flipped on its side. It was a recent accident I know for sure. I didn't see any bodies but I'm sure the coyotes took care of that before we got there. I looked around in horror at the other passengers around me to gauge their reactions. Most of them were too busy watching Punisher to notice. The Peruvian kid next to me was picking his nose. I peed my pants a little. I have to make this trip again when I go back down to Argentina meaning that the chances of dying on it were just doubled. Done.

I'll be leaving for Machu Pichu with friends in two days and then Argentina where email communication will be almost nonexistent. To the three people reading this: sorry. Chau

Mendoza Ho!

I went to Mendoza, Argentina this past weekend. The first attempt to get there was blocked because there was apparently snow in the mountains and we couldn't leave the country. Chile is completely bordered by the Andes on almost its entire east coast. Because of this, you have to go thru the Andes if you want to get to any other country by bus. This was the case for getting to Argentina. After leaving, taking a harrowing ride thru the Andes where our bus teetered multiple times over the edge of a rock cliff, we made it to Mendoza. Per usual, here is a bullet pointed list of activities and observations:

1) Mendoza is completely devoid of Street dogs, unlike Chile. I don't know if its a different attitude with the Argentinians as far as spaying and neutering dogs and NOT just throwing them into the streets after they're not cute anymore but I only saw like 2 in the entire country. I like this.

2) Argentinians are NOT easier to understand than Chileans, contrary to popular belief. They use "vos" instead of "tu." Vocabulary is completely different here too. Probably because Chileans have their own vocabulary that will serve me no use in the rest of South America. Argentines also seem to speak with an Italian accent but it's still spanish...except for the time at our hostel where the woman working was speaking to me and I found out it actually was Italian. I found out she was from Rome.

3) Mendoza has better food. I will say this again: Chile has terrible food. Everywhere I ate in Argentina was good, cheaper than Chile and had flavor. I think this is probably because they use different ingredients than the main ingredient of all Chilean food: salt.

4) The weather was better. The effect that Chile's unique Geographic features has on its climate is remarkable. It's been super hot during the day and cold at night. You can't win. Argentina is pretty temperate all day long.

We went to a enormous park in Mendoza that is probably 4 x 4 miles in size. We also went on "bike wine tours" where you pretty much get a map, get on a bike and go to the cornucopia of wineries around Mendoza and do tastings. I don't really care or know much about wine but it was probably the most adult thing I've done in my life... besides holding a steady job.

Of course, as soon as we got back into Chile after a ten hour overnight bus, it was raining and cold. I'm trying to maintain a good attitude here...

Dia del Profesor

I was on my way back home from School today in a collectivo (a chilean cab) when a woman got in with a filled propane tank. She didn't have room in the backseat so the driver just put it in the trunk. I suppose that it's nothing to worry about having a big pressurized tank of highly flammable gas rolling around unsecured in a trunk behind you. My host family also leaves mayonnaise out unrefrigerated for days and eats it by the spoonful..maybe I'm too sensitive. In any case, I closed my eyes every time I heard the tank slam against the back of that car during reckless stops at red lights, trying to pretend that there actually are worse ways to die than being blown into a million bits of human gore instantaneously in a collectivo in Chile....like being eaten by cannibals.That would probably be much worse. Anyway, this experience made me realize that every moment on this Continent may be my last and that I had better write to the 5 people that read my blog before it's too late:


1) We had Dia Del Profesor last Friday which is Teacher Day. The kids put on a bunch of plays and it was really impressive. Tons of dance routines to American classics like The Men in Black theme song and Billie Jean. I feel like the parents and kids here are actually really grateful for the teachers, it's refreshing. I was called up out of nowhere to accept a mug. It was heartwarming. When I got back to my seat someone handed me a bunch of balloons. Every single one popped within 5 minutes, effectively disrupting the rest of the ceremony each time. There are pictures if you click the link above.


2) I've finally gotten my after program plan together. I'm going to hang out with mom and other assorted family members for two weeks after the program ends in Chile. Then end up in Cuzco, Peru with Mom. There, I'll meeting friends and, finally, I'm going to Machu Picchu.


After, I'm going to be working at a Nature Reserve in Argentina called Aldea Luna.

http://www.aldealuna.com.ar

For all those not in the know, there's an organization called WWOOF (Willing Workers on Organic Farms) It's basically a loose collection of organic farms all over the world that take in volunteers who work the farm. In exchange, they get room and board. It sounds like a decent way to travel at a low cost and, obviously, it a good cause. I hope it's all its cracked up to be..and that I don't end up in some kind of coal mine.

Getting to Argentina from Peru will be an adventure I think. Because of the terribly high cost of plane tickets I need to bus to Argentina. This means I have to go from Cusco to Arequipa, from Arequipa to Tacna,from Tacna back to Arica, Chile, from Arica to Atacama, Chile and from Atacama to San Salvador de JuJuy in Argentina where the WWOOF thing is located. Sounds un-doable? You're probably right.

What's been happening. Chile week 12

I went to Arica (which is in northern Chile) this past weekend to visit friends. Chile's 200th anniversary of independence was this past Saturday so a lot was happening. It's like our 4th of July on overdrive for 3 days. I spent some time with friends who live there in the beginning just exploring. I think I definitely like Arica more than Villa Alemana. There is just more to see (the beach is ten minutes away from wherever you are) and since it's in a desert it's got alot more character.

I also went to Peru for the first time which was just peachy. Arica is the northern most city in Chile and right near the border of Peru so I had to check it out. Seriously, if you ever need to buy a freshly slaughtered chicken or a 10 year old girl, go to Peru. It's like the real South American experience. Chile is just very westernized, especially central Chile where I am. You don't have to really stretch that much out here since their standard of living is similar to ours. Peru is what I EXPECTED Chile to be:

-Open air markets
-Small Inca looking people (I saw a Peruvian midget begging for money. Seriously, you haven't seen tiny until you've seen a Peruvian midget. I almost squashed him like a bug..it was terrifying.)
-Ghetto fabulous cars with loud speakers taped/stapled/nailed to the tops blaring music and advertisements
-Not a single working faucet...anywhere.

The rest of my time in Arica, even though it's beautiful and has Sea lions, was not great. Pretty much, I was supposed to stay with Lindsay at her host house. Her mom Veronica said I could stay with Lindsay in her room on a mattress on the floor. Fine. Well I hadn't met the dad, Christian, yet. When I woke up the first morning in Arica, I found Christian and introduced myself. He looked at me, limply shook my hand, grumbled something and walked off. I soon found out that he wanted me to stay in the living room on the mattress. Why? I wasn't sure. I thought, maybe because two unmarried people were staying in a room unchaperoned and the father didn't want his 5 year old son to get the wrong message about morality? Wrong. Veronica and Christian aren't even married. Maybe because he didn't know that I was coming? Maybe but I'm sure Veronica mentioned something to him about it, my trip had been planned for 3 weeks. Either way, I had to find a hostel quick since I wasn't going to stay in the middle of the floor in this tiny apartment. Every hostel was booked except for one tiny place on the outskirts of town. The next two days I had to shuttle back and forth between my hostel and the center of town to eat awkward meals with Lindsay and her family with the Dad staring off into space like I didn't exist and the Mom being incredibly embarrassed that her baby daddy had kicked me out of the house after she had told me I could stay. This, among other issues that were happening during the time, made for an awkward trip.

Luckily I DID dance the Cueca a few times with Mandy in the streets after the bars closed (pictured) and went to some Asados (barbecues) where I met some really nice Chileans who welcomed me into their homes and said I did their country proud by my Cueca.  They seemed serious. Arica is also in a Desert so that's some really interesting landscaping. I returned to Villa Alemana this Tuesday $500 poorer, dejected, dirty and pissed. Thank god it's Friday. I'm going to read a good book to unwind. Just kidding, I'm going to drink.

First Chilean Novel

I finished my first book in chilean spanish! Here's a link to it!

http://www.santillana.cl/admin/fotograndelibro/Fantasmasenlacasa450.jpg

As you can see the book is named "Fantasmas en la casa rodante." As you can also see, it's a book written for 6 year olds. I'm not sure if I understood it completely but here is my understanding from what I read:

-There's this old guy who calls himself "el General Don Amador." He lives in a big house in the forest that he inherited from his family. He soon finds out that the house is haunted. However, luckily for him, it's haunted by a nice ghost whose name is Freddy. Freddy just wants to be friends and loves when the General plays music on his old fashioned 1920's radio so that he can dance to it. They form a strong friendship. One day, two people living in a trailer home move into the forest. They are named Florencia y Toño. They are musicians and artisans. After meeting them, the General decides that he wants them out of the forest because he likes his privacy and besides, who wants transients living in the forest near their house? He asks Freddy to go and scare them off at midnight since he's a ghost. Freddy, being the kind soul that he is, doesn't want to do this but since he's so tight with the General, he leaves to do it. The next day, the general goes to ask Florencia and Toño how their night was and if they saw anything interesting..like a ghost? Florencia says "We only saw one ghost, but that's OUR ghost!" Revealing that they too have a ghost named Viola who Freddy the ghost falls in love with. They want to get married HOWEVER, both the General and Florencia are worried about losing their best friends and tell them they can't get married. After alot of heeing and hawing, the General's heart melts, and decides that they can ALL live in Casa Rodante together since it's so huge. The assumption is that they spend the rest of their lives happily ever after, eventually the General and Florencia and Toño die, become ghosts and then all 5 have ghost parties for eternity. The End.

Conclusions from this story:

1) Chileans, like most people in the world, hate Gypsies. Just read who the people in the forest (Florencia and Toño) were. They come out of nowhere and just settle in the forest in a CARAVAN? They're musicians and artisans? They own a magic ghost? ...and the General wants them out? Typical anti-gypsy behavior.

2) Chilean kids must have some pretty advanced reading skills because I figured that a book for first graders would be a walk in the park. It wasn't. This book took me two weeks to read. OK..well I was reading it during lunches only but still, it was only like 15 pages long.

3) I want a pet ghost too.

Next, I'm going to read "La Polilla del baul" It looks easier.

First Chilean Haircut...definitely not the last

Highlights of the past week:

1) I cancelled my credit cards and luckily no charges were made. Mommy wired me some money and sent the replacement cards to my house in Villa Alemana. With the Chilean postal service, they should arrive about 2 months after I leave the country.

2) I went to legit Cueca lessons for the first time. The regional coordinator has been having them at her house for the past few weeks but I could never go. Chile is having a 200 year bicentennial celebration in September and since this is the traditional dance of Chile, it's kind of important to know it so you don't look like too much of a foreigner. It's harder than it looks and I'm terrible at it. Add it to the list. However, I DID meet a Chilean named Pilar who was my partner for some dances. She gave me her number and email. She told me that the next time I cueca somewhere, I should call her. She's 50.

3) Got a new roommate. I haven't talked about this much in my blog but the EOD program is having major financial issues. As in, NONE of the volunteers have gotten their stipends in months and neither have the families that have been hosting them. It's kind of dire and some families have been pulling out. Patrick, was "asked to leave" his house because his family was upset about not getting their money. My mom said she'd take him in. Luckily, I've already hung out with Patrick plenty since before we were housemates so the progression should be easier. Funny tidbit: Patrick is white, 6'5" and speaks basic spanish. Remind you of anyone else? We walk around this town and are a constant spectacle. I'm assuming most people think we're on some german soccer team/terrorists like those ones in Die Hard.

4) As the title heading and picture suggest, I finally got a haircut. It had been 3 months since this had happened. I went as long as I could without doing it but I knew I just had to. Don't get me wrong; washing your hair once a week and having it really long worked for me for awhile but I finally bit the bullet. I found a random peliqueria in Villa Alemana that wasn't full of women getting their hair highlighted armed with the following terms:

Quiero un recorte: I want a trim

Pero, solo un poco: But only a little....

En general, lo quiero lo mismo, solo un poco mas corto: In general, I want the same thing, just a little shorter

Por favor, solo un poco!: Please only a little!

por favor no cortarme la garganta:: Please do not slit my throat

I walked into a small place and a woman named Amelia was there with her son Sergio. Amelia understood what I wanted and, I think, it came out perfect. We talked a bit and I found out her son can speak some English and is actually in a class in another school with another teacher from my program....It's a small town. Anyway, I've heard horror stories about foreign language haircuts and since I myself have gotten a Mexican haircut in Chicago that went awry (accidental bowl cut) I was scared. I'm glad nothing bad happened and that they didn't laugh at my Spanish.

Life has been tame this weekend so far. Alot of people are gone for the weekend which makes socializing hard. I'm going to try and rustle up whoever is left and have a good time. After last weekend, I could use it. Oh also, by popular request this is what a Pudu is for whomever was curious:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pud%C3%BA


Disfruta!

Q: Como se dice: "My wallet was stolen"?

A: Anoche, en Santiago, Se robaron mi monedero.

So, I start off the weekend meeting Lindsay and we go to Valparaiso. It's great. The hostel we stay at is amazing. We do more exploring around Valparaiso and that city has way more to it than I first suspected. I love it even more now. We walked around to quite a few places like:

Museo al Cielo Abierto

-The "Open air museum." It's not really a museum but more like a section in the hills of Valparaiso with walls covered by paintings. Really interesting part of the city. Since it's Valparaiso, it's not crawling with people so we just walked around pretty unmolested.

Los Cerros de Valparaiso

-Valparaiso is a very hilly city, (like if you were playing in one of the streets with a soccer ball and you lost control of it, it would literally roll down into the ocean-really) Its neighborhoods are named after the cerro (hill) that its located near. I haven't made it to the upper cerros yet where one of Pablo Neruda's houses is but I plan to soon.

We also went around to alot of the gnarly bars that are around here. I seriously have not found a single bar here that wasn't great. Of course, I like dives but all of these bars have a completely unique flavor and are cheap too.

Sunday we tried to go to Horcon to meet some Aussie friends from the program...and thus the horrible end to a beautiful weekend began. Horcon is a small fishing town about 40-45 minutes away from Valpo. We got on the first bus that said "Horcon" and that was it. It soon became evident that the bus was not going straight to Horcon because the driver told us (after already driving for 20 minutes) that it was an hour and a half away. So we acted quick and got off the bus in Con Con instead. It's still nice and is coastal so it has some nice spots to go to. We found a restaurant to eat at. Unfortunately, it took about an hour to eat since the service was slow. Long story short, after getting back to Valparaiso, getting our bags and getting to the bus station in Valparaiso, we missed our bus and had to buy completely new tickets to Santiago...and Santiago ain't close, it's like an hour and a half away. We rush to Santiago, get out of the cab, and, of course, Lindsay misses her flight. I feel terrible about this and offer to pay for her new ticket. I then reach for my wallet and find an empty space where my wallet was. I have no idea what happened...but it's gone. I am then in every cliche story about South America and almost weep like a baby in the middle of the airport. Lucky for me I had my tear ducts surgically removed when I was ten.

Now, it's completely possible (and more probable) that I messed up and dropped my wallet when getting out of the cab. I don't know. All I know is that there was $300 worth of cash in there and all my credit cards and I now have to get home to Villa Alemana with no ticket, no money and no idea what to do. Luckily Lindsay gives me some money, we say goodbye and I bolt out. I got home safe since buses were still running but....now what?

On a serious note...

In case you have been in a cave for the past few days, there was breaking news on Sunday about some Chilean miners that were trapped. I figured that this was newsworthy for Americans because of some of our recent tragedy with mines. However, this story has a happy ending....so far.

For those unaware, there is a gold and copper mine in Copiapo that had a cave in. 33 miners were trapped. They searched for them for a few days with little hope and finally located them. The miners were able to send up a note stating that they were alright (thru a borehole apparently.) However, it will take almost 4 months to drill a hole the size of a person in order to get to the guys which is insane. However, since they are 4.5 miles underground I guess this makes sense? The miners made it to an emergency shelter that has provisions and they were able to send some more food and hydration gels yesterday also.

It was big news around here and has raised concerns about drilling regulations and the lack there of in Chile (seems like a worldwide theme though lately....did they plug that oil hole yet???) Manuel told me that this mine is one of the least prominent in Chile and so it was probably cutting corners on its safety regulations. Big surprise. Countries change but people don't I guess...

Chile: Week 7

I'd like to tell everyone who is worried about me, namely my grandparents and some of my students in Chicago that I am A-OKAY. The weekends here are fun...kind of harrowing at times but fun. I have not been taken advantage of by anyone yet, I have not gotten anymore tattoos of meaningless things, and YES I am still healthy. Albeit about 10 pounds lighter.

My housemate Carolyn left with other people in her program this weekend. I went down to see them off in Santiago and hang out for awhile. We had a good time as usual. I'm gonna miss Carolyn and all of the other crew. Chocolate Milk, Panda, Towel, Audacity and most of all Care-Bear: it was real and I hope to see you soon.

Now that Carolyn is gone I will have to double my efforts to learn Spanish since I will have no one to get me out of linguistic jams. My house parents asked me last week if I was going back to Chicago with my family when they came down to visit in November. I stated that I had told my friends and family that I wasn't leaving Chile until I was atleast partially conversational in Spanish so, no, I was staying for atleast another 6 months. Giovanna responded by laughing in my face and pointing at Manuel who had apparently said "tengo miedo" (I'm scared) I asked "What? You don't think I can learn spanish in that time?" Which they responded to by saying, in essence "Maybe in 6 years of studying, you will be at a kindergarten level"

I hate this country.....

Tranny Party. Location: The Ocean

I went to Viña and Valparaiso again this weekend. This time, we met up with some honest to goodness Chileans that Carolyn and Stacy know. Marcelo and Fabian....really cool dudes. Fabian speaks english..which is good...because when I want to start talking about something really abstract like the Israeli/Palestinian conflict or Astrology, I can switch over to English after I'm out of spanish. The night took place in 4 segments which I'll bulletpoint and then explain:

 1) Family birthday party

2) Bar

3) Dance Party

4) Tranny Party

The birthday party was for Marce's friend Daniella. It was seriously me, two gringas and the two chilenos with this chick and her family in a small apartment. Everyone was super welcoming though, even though we were obviously not invited. Chileans, as a whole, are very nice people and really love to party. Something that you won't see at an intimate white person birthday party is dancing. The traditional dance of Chile is the "Cueca" It's essentially like a man and woman dancing around eachother, with the woman clutching her dress and the man holding up his handkerchief. Kind of a flirtatious, mating call kind of deal but not explicit at all because people don't even touch during the dance. Everyone started doing it at the party and it was fantastic. Little did I know that I'd soon need to know how to dance it....

Afterwards, we left, went to a bar to drink the "sacrificio maya" which is just a shot with tons of different alcohols in it...and that's where the night took a different kind of turn. Stacy, Carolyn's friend, was leaving for good the next day so she paid in  change at the end to get rid of it. The waiter was obviously not pleased and chased us down the street yelling afterward because she apparently didn't leave enough. We took care of it... I think.

We then went to some disco. I danced again and did the Cueca at the end with some real Chilenas...I was definitely pushed from behind at least 5 times by different groups of girls. After looking at the pictures from the club yesterday, I can tell why. I'm elbow level with most of these people and I was obviously head checking them the entire night since there was no space to dance. Well to all of the girls from Club Proa on Saturday night I want to say this....Sorry.

Now, we left at about 4am from this club, me hoping that we were done and the Chileans hoping to find an after party. Well...they found it. We go up these stairs across the street from the ocean to something I'm very sure is going to be a murder/rape scenario. We get into this dirty apartment, completely devoid of any furniture. A makeshift bar was constructed in the middle and they were serving drinks. It soon becomes very obvious that everyone there is a man..and that the women there could definitely beat me in an arm wrestle. Now, I think that many transexuals/transvestites probably do such a good job of being women that I'm not even aware of them when I pass them on the street. However, these trannies were not that kind of breed. It always seems to me that the transexual gene gets passed to some of the most bluntly mannish looking dudes on the planet. Maybe it's god's cruel joke but these guys were tall, had broad shoulders and were not attractive to begin with so they made ugly women.

I'm in the bathroom at one point in mid zip up when all of a sudden the lights go out and I start to feel hands groping..my pants, my shoulders...todos partes. I don't know who turned out the lights but I'm pretty sure why the lights were off and my survival instinct tells me to get the hell out of Dodge. Blindly, I push thru a sea of what I think is at least ten guys, get to the exit of this 20 x 20 foot bathroom finding that the door has a handle..on the other side. I was trapped, very sure that someone was going to make a man of me....multiple times. I'm clawing at the door, seeing a crack of light on the other side but only a sliver, looking for something, ANYTHING that was not of human origin to grab when luckily I grasp a chunk of door, fling it open and run back into the party...and then proceed to almost run over a 6 foot tall man in a blonde wig and white mini skirt. The entire affair probably happened over the space of about 1 minute but in the state I was in, it was an eternity.

Luckily for me, the rest of the party was full of NON creepy gay men (and some straight women) who were really cool. I was able to drag everyone out at what was apparently 7:30 in the morning. I've partied late...but never like this. Old men were already riding the buses out to the park and starting their days when we were getting home. You can't make this kind of stuff up folks....

Viña/Valpo Weekend

Went into Viña this weekend for a long haul weekend. We met up with a few other people from EOD that are in another time schedule. We have multiple programs that are doing differing amounts of time. Carolyn and the rest of the people we met up with are on the 10 week program so they'll be leaving in 3 weeks. We walked around for awhile trying to buy food and then eventually ended up at Carolyn's friend Stacy's house to cook it all. I also met up with a friend from my 5 month program. It was, by far, the largest group of Americans I've ever hung out with since being in Santiago. We took a bus to Valparaiso (which is the next town over) and checked into a hostel for the weekend.

After getting our pisco on at the hostel, we left to dance. Yeah...it's been happening alot here for me. Deal with it...I have. I'd be lying if I said that I haven't started developing a strange affinity for American pop music. I mean it's either that or Reggaeton here in the clubs so you either dance to it or stand in the corner like a weirdo drinking and staring at everyone. Since I've spent plenty of time in the latter camp, I've been making a concerted effort to have a good time here. Carolyn and all her friends are good people. We can appreciate the same things, like inappropriate humor, so it was a good time. I really like Valparaiso..it's kind of sketchy but it has the most character of any Chilean city I've been in thus far so I see myself spending alot of time there..especially since Villa Alemana doesn't have a ton going on.

Taught my first lesson of the day yesterday which was fun. We never quite know when we're going to teach but since we showed up before our host teacher, we kind of just started and he kind of just let us finish it. It's fun and the kids were definitely into it I think? More updates later....

First Week of the next 4 months....

I've spent the past week going to the school that I'm teaching at. It's called Divina Maestra. Luckily, I've had the other volunteer (my new housemate) helping me. Carolyn was in Peru my first two weeks around here so I met her for the first time on Sunday when she came back. Really cool chick. She was a Spanish teacher in the states so, again, I'm the only one clueless in Spanish where I am. We went to Viña del Mar yesterday which is about a 20 minute bus ride from Villa Alemana. Viña is essentially just another part of Valparaiso since they're right next to eachother, but it's cleaner and more touristy. We watched a futbol game of U. of Santiago vs. Chivas (Mexico) and Chileans are NUTS about this stuff. A futbol game is just one long chant. It was a little hard to handle actually especially since some idiot was whistling in my ear every other minute. I mean, honestly, how many times do you have to do one of those fingers-in-the-mouth type shrill whistles before people get the point that you really like soccer? Apparently about 50 times.

Anyway, class has been...interesting. I'm sure its just the first week but things are run differently here. Based off what I've seen, I'm not sure exactly how much teaching I'll be doing in front of the class. Everything is very last minute here. As in, "Ok..go teach something now Carolyn and Evan! Teach  what? It doesn't matter!" I'm not sure what the kids were supposed to learn today in English class but these are some of the things that they did practice during class:

1) How to make an elephant mask out of normal notebook paper.

2) How to yell at your friend from across the room, WHILE standing next to your teacher, and doing it without him noticing.

3) How to make random animal noises in class and pass it off as English.

4) How to draw up blueprints for a perfect butterfly shaped swimming pool.

I'm trying not to make waves since I'm just here to learn Spanish anyway, if I teach I teach, if not, I look over my spanish english dictionary during class so it's all good. In other news. I went to recharge my phone today (I have a prepaid phone that I just put money on) and the lady said something about not understanding Castillian spanish after I spoke. I think that was code for her saying that I speak Spanish like a retarded person. Either way, speaking the wrong dialect is better than speaking no dialect.....si?

I think I'm learning how to speak better but I still can't really understand what my parents are saying. Having Carolyn here is good since she can help me learn/translate for me. This weekend I'm going to Viña again to hang out with Carolyn and her friends. We're staying at a hostel since we don't want to worry about going home late. Hopefully I come out with all my internal organs intact...

Los Campamentos Invierno....al final

Well. I returned to Villa Alemana today after a long but fun week in Cartagena. We definitely had some issues in the beginning. Two of the other American Volunteers who were supposed to come never showed up so we only had the 4 of us to run the camps. I came into the situation not knowing any of the people. Nicole and Camilla were two Chilenas from around the Cartagena area who were running the program and the second day a guy named Brennen showed up to help. The week was fun...but we had very little to work with. The room we were in had one working light, no insulation and bars on the windows. Not what I'd call a "learning environment"

Sin embargo, the kids were great. Everyone who showed up was awesome. Very excited to speak english, intelligent and cool personalities. I had some very rough mornings waking up since most of the nights I spent huddled like a stray animal under paper thin sheets. I had to shower in tepid water (which meant that I showered twice this week since I hate being uncomfortable) and it was raining or cloudy most days. However, the kids were really the saving grace. Every morning, they got ME excited about the day...I don't think I could have done it without them.

Of course, I was the only person in a room full of 30 people who couldn't speak Spanish but they were all really nice to me. Some of the highlights of the week:

1) Morning wake up dance sessions to get people warmed up. Dancing for me essentially meant doing a strange kind of moonwalk, sidestep slide. I think it entertained other people. Also, I can't get that stupid Ke$ha song out of my head.

2) Being interviewed by CNN CHILE...and being asked to say the "And NOW back to the studio!" part for the camera. My bets are that the camera was probably not even turned on when I did my part. I think my friends asked the anchorwoman to have me do something since I was the only person they didn't interview due to lack of spanish and charisma. Either way...it made me feel powerful

3) The lunches that usually consisted of a strange dishwater/chocolate/coffee drink and rice with a hardboiled egg in the middle of it.

4) The Ending ceremony today. There were some heartfelt renditions of Sweet Child O' Mine and Zombie. I was given the award for being "Shakira's Lover" since I wrote a poem about her for class. Brennen, the other volunteer, was given the award for "Most Handsome" I will kill Brennen and take his award for myself. I was robbed.

I'm actually going to miss these kids....I think they'll miss me too for some reason. Maybe they found my awkwardness endearing? Monday I start observation at my school....yikes.

el Terremoto Pequeño

I forgot to mention that while we were watching the soccer game, in the middle of the conversation on Wednesday, Manuel hushed me and told me to look at the banister leading upstairs: it was shaking and soon the entire house was. Nothing was knocked over because it was just a small "seismo" but it was a reminder of what this country is all about. Apparently small tremors like this happen almost daily. Some you're awake for, some not. Just to remind people that might be fearing for my life: large earthquakes like the one that happened a few months ago, scientifically speaking, happen only every 25 years so I'm not worried. However, catfish are known to be especially sensitive to seismic activity and have been said to be able to predict upcoming shocks weeks in advance. My suggestion: everyone buy a catfish and keep it in your toilet. There are earthquakes all the time near Chicago. You'll thank me later.

Showering has become the highlight of my day (unfortunately?) while living here. As you can see to the right of this post, it ain't warm here. I sleep in my clothes every night under 5 blankets. Chileans don't use central air/heating. It's not like they don't believe in it, they literally do not have central air. This entire apartment building has not a single air vent to be found. Even if they had furnaces, there would be no way to carry the heat into the rooms so the only thing protecting you from the cold are the walls and windows. Luckily, they do have hot water so this has forced me to shower out of the pure need of ten minutes of comfort.

Last night, my family, who are quickly becoming just roommates since they're so young and informal, invited people over for a small get together. Luckily, there was alcohol this time ( I don't drink a lot here since Giovanna doesn't drink at all) to lube the social wheels. There were two teachers from my school who seem very nice as well as a next door neighbor who spoke pretty good English. The neighbor's girlfriend was Brazilian and spoke Portugese so there were a lot of languages flying around. I just tried to cling to the seat of my pants and listen. It was fun. I got in some words but usually only when conversation was directed at me. It was literally 8 people sitting around a table talking at eachother for like 5 hours. I showed off the power of my liver by being the only one drinking Pisco (think Chilean tequila) straight though...so I think that gave me some points. The guy who spoke English was named Antonio and we became friends. He said he wants to hang out to improve his English and help me improve my remedial spanish so that's pretty keen.

Today, Manuel and I watched a vampire movie called "Daybreakers" which did the trick for my vampire fix although it was nothing spectacular. It had subtitles in Spanish so that worked for everyone involved. Manuel is such a nice, easygoing guy. It's great having him around. I love Giovanna as well but Manuel and I can talk about action movies and Def Leopard so that's cool. Tomorrow I leave for a winter camp which is basically just going to be me and a bunch of Chilean kids for a week. I won't have a computer then but I'll update soon. Ciao Ciao and thanks for reading.

Villa Alemana: Day 3

Yesterday we all dropped off Giannina with her abuelita and went on a drive to the coast. We went to Valparaiso again and ate at some place called Mastodonte which was decorated and shaped like a cave. I had a craft beer called barba rubio which was actually decent. Something to remember about Chile, beer is not as huge as it is in Europe and especially America. Chileans are known for their wine and wine here is super cheap and super good. "Cervezas Artesanals" are not a common thing so to drink a microbrew here is rare.

Now..the lunch. Chileans eat HUGE lunches and small meals the rest of the day. A really popular thing in Chile to eat is Chorrillana. It's basically what it looks like: a heart attack on a plate. A giant plate of fries, topped with a ton of meat and cheese, often with fried eggs on top. I attempted to eat the Chorrillana Puerco yesterday and made it about half way through. It's a disgusting amount of food. I'm going to need to change my eating habits soon if I don't want to get adult onset diabetes.

Valparaiso, although it has streets, also has what are called Funiculars which are pretty much just boxes that are dragged up the side of a mountain with steel cables. It's a common way to get transported from one place to another. We took one yesterday to the top of some cerro in downtown Valparaiso. I'd be lying if I wasn't imagining the cable snapping the entire way up.

When we got home, I watched the futbol game with Manuel. Colo Colo (from Santiago) vs. Everton (from Viña del Mar). As per usual for teams that are my home teams, Everton lost. I've been a Cubs fan forever though so this is something I've gotten used to. Apparently this Saturday I'm going to leave to do a winter camp somewhere with some Chilean kids who have good English. As usual for this program, I have no idea where, when or how I'm supposed to leave but it's ok. Es lo que hay (it is what it is) More to come later

Trip to Valparaiso

I woke up today, ate a breakfast with Manuel (bread with palta (guacamole) and some tea to drink) and then we went to Valparaiso to get some things. We took the metro and, again, I had some one on one time to awkwardly conversate. However, I'm hoping I'm getting better. For those already familiar with Spanish, I'll learn you on some basics of "chileno":

-Chileans speak very fast..like the fastest of any Spanish speaking country in the world. Not like this matters for someone as clueless as me anyway but most Spanish speakers feel incompetent when they come here and try to have conversations. Imagine how I feel.

-Chileans leave off S's in the end of words and sometimes completely leave out the middle of words. Combine this with the above fact and it's disastrous

-There is a whole list of slang words that are unique solely to Chilean Spanish and heard nowhere else. Pollolo=novia (girlfriend), caña=resaca (hangover) etc. etc.

Anyway, Manuel is great. He's really excited to teach me spanish. We stay up late just talking to eachother. The past two nights, I've had to cut the conversation short because my head hurt. I don't know if he's just humoring me but I'll take it. I also ate some kind of fish today called "congrio."  Out of curiosity, I looked up pictures of it and it's a horrifying creature.  Long and snake like but Chileans love it and it's actually the only good thing I've had to eat yet here..besides the palta.  De todos maneras, yo aprendi mucho hoy, mañana voy a aprender mas.

The First Day

I got in today to Viña del Mar. It's a coastal city in central Chile about 2 hours west of Santiago. Scenery definitely gets better the further you get from Santiago (place is crowded and dirty in my opinion). Viña and Valparaîso are right next to eachother and the way they stack the houses on the cerros (hills) is pretty impressive.

I met my "house mother" Giovanna and she's definitely younger than me at 25. She lives about 20 minutes east of Viña in a town called Villa Alemana with her boyfriend Manuel and their one and a half year old daughter Gianina. She's probably the cutest damn baby I've ever met in my life. Super friendly and loud. During my first conversation with Manuel, we had to keep stopping because she kept getting on my lap. As with most foreign places I go, I'm like a circus animal that people just can't get enough of.

Now, as long as we're talking about conversation, I might as well say that none of the family speaks a word of English. For once, I speak better Spanish than someone does English. Manuel definitely knows more than Giovanna but not much. Our conversations consisted mainly of riddles and I'm pretty sure I mistakenly told them all that I would donate a kidney if ever need be. However, this is perfect for my purposes in Chile since I'm really going to have to learn how to speak to survive out here. We had sushi tonight and spent much of the cena passing an engligh/spanish dictionary around. Tomorrow we're going to Valparaiso.

To all who are actively paying attention, I have wi-fi internet in my house (which is apparently not rare in Chile) so I can update and talk regularly now. Hasta luego

Location....still undetermined

Things are going well. I've been having orientation all this week and hanging out with the people. I've been told that I'll be going to the city of Vina Del Mar...but where exactly within the city I don't know. It could be the city center, it could be the suburbs. El suspenso me mata. I also have a phone number, if you want to call me, here it is 5684160665...I can't see straight. Adios

Landing and successful retrieval

I have successfully docked with the South American mainland. Now I need to get something off of my chest...I flew first class all the way here and it was the most amazing experience of my life. Unlimited drinks, full course meals (consomme starter? really?) and neat-o robot chairs that turned into beds at the push of a button. It made me a better person and everyone needs to try it at least once in their lives...American decadence at its highest.

Anyway, I got to the hostel fine. Actually every interaction I've had in South America has been smooth sailing so far. I almost didn't even get into the air out of Chicago actually because I didn't have a return ticket booked. I also look like a terrorist so that probably didn't help. I've met some other Americans in our program and we spent the day walking around Chile.

Highlights:

1) "Pino" empanadas (filled with "meat" olives, gravy, and onions.) Amazing

2) The fish market with every fish known to man killed, chilled and on display. You can even buy an entire eel.

3) The Santa Lucia park. A hike up a big fortress-like mount that I'm sure used to have some military purpose. The view of the Andes from the top was quite nice.

Lowlights

1) Santiago is dirty.

2) Smog obscures some of the view of the Andes which is regrettable.

3) There are feral street dogs laying everywhere. They happen to sprawl out right in the middle of major walkways making it near impossible not to step on one. I'm also pretty sure they're crazy...I'm also not entirely sure that they are not the primary meat in in the Pino empanadas.

Beginnings

I leave Friday. I've been scouring my collections of junk to whittle down what is important to take. Right now I've figured out that my iPod, guitar and toothpaste are all essentials. Two weeks of the program were just cancelled on Friday AFTER I'll already be in the country so I'll have to figure out what to do during that time. I'm guessing going to a bar to watch a World Cup game is out of the question since it'll be over by then. Also, lily white Americans like me may need to stay away from all World Cup related things in Santiago since riot police had to break up a 50,000 person swarm after Chile qualified for the second round on Friday. Wait..that reminds me of two things I need to do before I leave:

a) Start caring about soccer

b) Buy a gun

More to follow.