Tranny Party. Location: The Ocean

I went to Viña and Valparaiso again this weekend. This time, we met up with some honest to goodness Chileans that Carolyn and Stacy know. Marcelo and Fabian....really cool dudes. Fabian speaks english..which is good...because when I want to start talking about something really abstract like the Israeli/Palestinian conflict or Astrology, I can switch over to English after I'm out of spanish. The night took place in 4 segments which I'll bulletpoint and then explain:

 1) Family birthday party

2) Bar

3) Dance Party

4) Tranny Party

The birthday party was for Marce's friend Daniella. It was seriously me, two gringas and the two chilenos with this chick and her family in a small apartment. Everyone was super welcoming though, even though we were obviously not invited. Chileans, as a whole, are very nice people and really love to party. Something that you won't see at an intimate white person birthday party is dancing. The traditional dance of Chile is the "Cueca" It's essentially like a man and woman dancing around eachother, with the woman clutching her dress and the man holding up his handkerchief. Kind of a flirtatious, mating call kind of deal but not explicit at all because people don't even touch during the dance. Everyone started doing it at the party and it was fantastic. Little did I know that I'd soon need to know how to dance it....

Afterwards, we left, went to a bar to drink the "sacrificio maya" which is just a shot with tons of different alcohols in it...and that's where the night took a different kind of turn. Stacy, Carolyn's friend, was leaving for good the next day so she paid in  change at the end to get rid of it. The waiter was obviously not pleased and chased us down the street yelling afterward because she apparently didn't leave enough. We took care of it... I think.

We then went to some disco. I danced again and did the Cueca at the end with some real Chilenas...I was definitely pushed from behind at least 5 times by different groups of girls. After looking at the pictures from the club yesterday, I can tell why. I'm elbow level with most of these people and I was obviously head checking them the entire night since there was no space to dance. Well to all of the girls from Club Proa on Saturday night I want to say this....Sorry.

Now, we left at about 4am from this club, me hoping that we were done and the Chileans hoping to find an after party. Well...they found it. We go up these stairs across the street from the ocean to something I'm very sure is going to be a murder/rape scenario. We get into this dirty apartment, completely devoid of any furniture. A makeshift bar was constructed in the middle and they were serving drinks. It soon becomes very obvious that everyone there is a man..and that the women there could definitely beat me in an arm wrestle. Now, I think that many transexuals/transvestites probably do such a good job of being women that I'm not even aware of them when I pass them on the street. However, these trannies were not that kind of breed. It always seems to me that the transexual gene gets passed to some of the most bluntly mannish looking dudes on the planet. Maybe it's god's cruel joke but these guys were tall, had broad shoulders and were not attractive to begin with so they made ugly women.

I'm in the bathroom at one point in mid zip up when all of a sudden the lights go out and I start to feel hands groping..my pants, my shoulders...todos partes. I don't know who turned out the lights but I'm pretty sure why the lights were off and my survival instinct tells me to get the hell out of Dodge. Blindly, I push thru a sea of what I think is at least ten guys, get to the exit of this 20 x 20 foot bathroom finding that the door has a handle..on the other side. I was trapped, very sure that someone was going to make a man of me....multiple times. I'm clawing at the door, seeing a crack of light on the other side but only a sliver, looking for something, ANYTHING that was not of human origin to grab when luckily I grasp a chunk of door, fling it open and run back into the party...and then proceed to almost run over a 6 foot tall man in a blonde wig and white mini skirt. The entire affair probably happened over the space of about 1 minute but in the state I was in, it was an eternity.

Luckily for me, the rest of the party was full of NON creepy gay men (and some straight women) who were really cool. I was able to drag everyone out at what was apparently 7:30 in the morning. I've partied late...but never like this. Old men were already riding the buses out to the park and starting their days when we were getting home. You can't make this kind of stuff up folks....